I should’ve put this up last night as I was watching, but I was lazy, so I decided to wait until this morning. It was interesting because it was quite the sea change from the Golden Globes, stylistically, but some constants remain. Natalie Portman, gorgeous as she is, can’t seem to find a decent pregnant look. The GLEE girls continue to surprise. And even when January Jones gets it… better, she finds some way to kill the impression.
At any rate, we started with her for the Globes, it seems apropos to begin with her again:
Okay, this should totally be proof that Helena’s just messing with people’s heads when she comes out looking like a train wreck. Last night, she had it completely going on, looking elegant and lovely, and yet– the hair? Well, nice to see our Helena’s still there.
All right, Ima just get this one out of the way. Who decided that crack-addled flamingo was a good look, Angie? I mean, really, did you look in the mirror and say, “Yeah, that’s hot?” Because seriously, sister, there comes a point in a woman’s life where she has to accept that pastel pink and ostrich feathers are just not the way to go. Like… ever.
Lot of plunging necklines last night. A lot.
Not a one of these worked for me, although Sofia Vergara’s perhaps came the closest—probably because she has the right Girls to put in her gown. The worst, by far, was Eva Longoria. She looked regrettably lopsided in hers. Christina Hendricks made me want to weep, because simple black with her complexion and hair should work beautifully, but the wrap dress just looked like a sequined bathrobe and the shoes looked like she stole them from her grandma’s closet. And Melissa Leo’s was just a hot mess– but that may be my cap sleeve prejudice adding to the dislike.
Now, the plunging neckline that did work for me was Lea Michelle. She went sleek, sexy, and I love the champagne hue of the dress. The whole look had this Studio 54 vibe, but in an elegant way, not sleazy, stay-out-til-dawn-snorting-coke sort of way.
Hailee Steinfeld is going to wind up on a lot of Worst-Dressed lists and it’s going to be completely undeserved. The girl is fourteen. This dress is young and adorable and yet elegant enough for a formal affair. I think she looks absolutely fun and lovely in it.
Prints made their usual appearance on the red carpet last night and two stood out for different reasons:
I loved the colors in Claire Danes’ gown, but I didn’t like the print, hated the floral appliqués, and unfortunately, it didn’t fit right. She’s long-waisted and the bodice simply sits too far down her torso.
Mila Kunis on the other hand—loved the abstract brush-stroke appearance, loved the color on her, wish it could have been fitted just a touch better in the bodice, but otherwise, gorgeous.
Nicole… WTF? Lace and cap sleeves and ruffles and enameled necklaces, oh my. Just… urk.
All right, Natalie. You are adorably pregnant. Why can’t someone dress you in a way that both emphasizes the adorableness of your pregnancy and still enhances your natural gorgeousness? Designers: do not put the pregnant lady in a column dress where the column is so narrow that a) she can barely walk in it and b) bunches up below her belly any time she sits, thereby causing an unfortunate collection of wrinkles. Or if you’re going to do this, at least make the fabric jersey, which won’t show the wrinkles, not silk. Also, in a reversal from our previous photos, the bodice was way too high on her and looked like it was cutting into her armpits. I’ve rarely seen such a singularly uncomfortable looking dress.
Speaking of uncomfortable. January, can you manage not to look so bored/pissed every time the camera pans over you? kthanxbai. With respect to the gown, in theory, this look should be elegant, lovely, & flattering. In theory. In reality, she’s looking like she threw a gold lace tablecloth over a black dress. But let’s give her props for a complete look two shows in a row. No Walk of Shame hair this week, either.
All righty, another one that’ll show up on the Best Dressed lists that I just can’t get behind: Amy Adams. I knew the minute I saw it that this was a Hervé Léger gown and while normally, I like the bandage look, it’s a look best done in moderation. This kind of went way past moderation, in my opinion and left Amy with an unfortunate resemblance to a mummy.
In the close, but not quite, category was Hilary Swank. I really, really love this gown. Love everything about it, including the color. Just not on her. My biggest beef with nude/beige/blush is that the women who most tend to wear it are the ones on whom it blends into, like wallpaper. For me, personally, for this color to work, I think there needs to be contrast. I think if Hilary’s hair had been darker, this might have really worked beautifully. I think, too, if she’d worn some bracelets with some boldly colored stones or that had been ebony or something of that nature– anything to break up the unrelenting beigeness of it all, that might have made this look a real winner.
Jennifer Laurence rocked this look like damn and whoa. The hot pink, the bold black accents, the asymmetric draped sleeves. Just awesome. And here’s a little detail that made the look work: normally, I don’t care for shoes with heavy straps paired with formals because it all-too-often clashes with the gown. In this case, it works, echoing the sash and even the draped sleeves. It’s all balanced and in harmony. Well played.
All righty, now. My two favorites and I feel like I’m such an easy mark because once again, my favorite looks are blue gowns.
Julia Stiles’ blue/white ombre is so elegant and evocative of the sea. Just absolutely adore this look. She kept it all very simple, nothing else overwhelming or competing with the gown. She just looked lovely.
But my absolute most favoritist look of the night had to be Dianna Agron. Chanel Haute Couture, tea-length, that sophisticated navy/black color combo, with ladylike, yet dead-sexy black pumps and the hair and makeup are perfection. And the bodice fits.